Begin Again

But we have to risk believing the perfectly wise and loving God is writing a better story. The resurrection says it is so.

“What I’m doing you don’t understand now, but afterwards you will know.” John 13:7

Happy New Year, friends! I guess from the perspective of dates on a calendar, the new year is a fresh start. If only it were a clean slate of emotional and mental pain. The affliction of loss, grief, injustice and brokenness is what I would love wiped out of my life on New Year’s Day. 

How many of us would rewind, rewrite and relive a different story?

Unfortunately, I woke up on January 1st carrying heavy emotional weight again this year. The same deep wounds staring back at me. Maybe you’re like me. Our sorrow didn’t disappear when the calendar flipped. The turn of the year was another first without the life we dreamed we’d have. We opened our eyes with the same nagging ache to the painful reality that our loved one is not here, the diagnosis has not changed, or our child still struggles with the same infirmities. The mounting bills are still due. Meanwhile, a global pandemic is not only continuing, but surging forward powerfully. We cry out, “What in the world are you doing Lord?” (Like, literally…what are you doing in the world?!)

It can feel impossible to begin again (or at the very least far-fetched). Begin again? Start over? How? Why?? I’m sick and tired of the disappointment of hope deferred. Why begin again when I will  get the same results? We wrestle with questions about why things are the way they are. The incomprehensible pain on those of us who have lost children, spouses, or those dear to our hearts leaves us wondering, “Why?” If we’re honest, there is likely no explanation or answer that would be acceptable for lives cut short or having to bear the crushing weights we carry. I know I would not want to hear it. The loss is too painful. The grief is too vast. I would MUCH rather change the story than begin again.

In the midst of it all, I still hear God’s Spirit inviting me into a new beginning. Begin what, exactly? For starters, begin believing again. Begin trusting again instead of trying to make sense of what might never make sense in my finite mind. Choose to risk believing what God says in His word about life, death, loss, and grief. 

To begin believing again means courageously listening to what He says and accepting His Word as truthful. I must choose to trust that His ways are good and kind, which is even more difficult to comprehend in the midst of daunting circumstances. Especially when questions remain unanswered. After all, His ways are higher than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9). This believing…this trust to which I refer…is the life of walking by faith and not sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7) And what a devastating walk it can be. This is the life Jesus called His followers to in John 14:1 when He said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.” When I cannot yet see it, can I believe it? Yes, we have experienced devastation, but disruption does not snatch us from the divine power of God.

Believing these things doesn’t mean we pretend our difficult realities don’t exist. Yes, we cry about them, scream about them, find healthy ways to process them, and pray about them. By faith, we carry them, believing that one day, the burden will be lifted. Believing without seeing is required, but it’s not easy. In fact it can be quite difficult.

In Chapter 13 of John, the “disciple Jesus loved” gave  an eyewitness account of a conversation Jesus had with Peter. The Passover feast was  coming and Jesus was sitting with His friends to share the Passover meal. Jesus knew what was ahead. He was fully aware of what His companions would come up against watching Him suffer and die. He knew He would soon be on the cross crying out to the Father who orchestrated it all. He was fully aware of the coming mental and emotional toil. The disciples would come to experience paralyzing fear. What Jesus does and says in the days leading up to His crucifixion fascinates me. I turn to these words and stories when I am in mental and emotional turmoil. They have been a healing balm to my aching soul. 

In one of His last acts, Jesus washed the disciples’ feet. Peter, one of His closest companions, was confused and refused to allow it. 

Peter asked, “Lord, are You going to wash my feet?” Jesus answered, “What I’m doing, you don’t understand now, but afterwards you will know.” “You will never wash my feet-ever!” Peter said. Jesus replied, “If I don’t wash you, you have no part with Me.” Simon Peter said to Him, “Lord, not only my feet, but also my hands and my head.” 

I can only imagine how Peter felt as the teacher he loved approached him and moved toward him to perform a less than dignified service reserved for servants at the time.

In his confusion and misunderstanding, Peter refused. I imagine his thoughts.  “I do not understand what you are doing. I should be washing your feet. You are the teacher. I am a student. You are Christ. I am your servant. This doesn’t make sense. But, Why?”  What strikes me most is that Jesus doesn’t answer Peter’s question directly. 

In His mercy, He reminds Peter that he may not understand this outward reversal of “roles”, nor why they had to take place, but after…  at some unspecified point in the future, Peter would KNOW. I imagine Peter knowing when The Lord came to him after His resurrection. (John 21)

Much like Peter, we long to know. We tell ourselves, if I knew He was faithful. If I knew it got better. If I knew the details. If I knew… I could begin again.

This is what God teaches me through this encounter:

  1. There are answers we will not get in this life. Jesus did not always give detailed explanations to His followers when He walked the earth. In fact, He left out details, forcing those involved to make a choice to believe or not.  When we ask “how, when, where, or why?” He lovingly responds with WHO…I AM WHO I AM (Exodus 3:14, Job 38:1, John 6:35) 
  2. We will KNOW. God promises that we will fully know and be known. (1 Corinthians 13:12) We must walk by faith until then, believing what He says, even when we don’t see it.
  3. We often will not understand what God is doing. Some circumstances will just never make perfect sense. When we walk with God, He will reveal His will, often little-by-little, as we continue to follow where He leads. While my finite mind longs for understanding, God tells me to trust. (Proverbs 3:5-6) His ways will never be ours. He is conforming our ways to His. There is so much friction here because we cannot see the whole story. We have to trust in the One who can.
  4. Jesus cares about our emotional and mental distress. He cares about our losses and our grief. How do I know? He came down from heaven and made a way for us to be eternally free from them. He has gone before us. He is a man of sorrows, very familiar with suffering. In fact, Hebrews 4 says He was even tempted in every way, and yet He never sinned. Isaiah 53 tells us He was unjustly treated and yet never opened His mouth. Lazarus died. Jesus wept. His disciples deserted Him. The Father turned His face from Him on the Cross. Yes, He knows grief, He knows loss, and He knows suffering. He is with us in it and has provided eternal relief from it at the right time.

My dear sister, I wish our pain wasn’t so. I wish the loss could disappear as quickly as it unpredictably came…that we could rewind, rewrite, and relive a different reality. I have no pretty bow to wrap our losses up in. But we have to risk believing the perfectly wise and loving God is writing a better story. The resurrection says it is so. The suffering is producing something we won’t altogether understand until we altogether understand God Himself, unhindered by sin. This is our eternal reality that changes the way we live today. For now, we must walk with our grief compassionately, reminding ourselves of these truths. There is no hope without them.

Jesus overcame death to make a way for us to believe again and again. God doesn’t need a clean slate because He is making something marvelous of our difficult reality. The hope of the gospel is exactly this. Out of the darkest night, the brightest light shines. God Himself, made weak, released the greatest power ever known. What will He write? I wish I could tell you the specifics. What I can tell you is that it’s better than anything you and I could ever write. Trust the God who knows my sweet sister. Be confident in the promise that we will know. With Him we can begin again.

Always Cheering you on,

When “I Can’t” is Every Day

And our leaves do not wither and our light shines like the noonday sun and rivers of living water flow and joy rolls over sorrow and victory dances. She looks over her shoulder, extending her hand, asking today, “Do you want to come with me?”

I can’t Do This.

I can’t.

This mountain? Insurmountable. 

Rough terrain. 

A giant out in front.

The elements, unpredictable. 

How? Who knows? All I see, all I hear, all I feel is I can’t. It hurts too much. Lord, I’m scared.

It’s overwhelming to think about taking the next step.

We can’t see the next step.

All we can see is the mountain.

“I CAN’T” is an unwelcome friend in my thoughts because of the pain, the fear, the sadness, the hurt. I do not want to. It’s impossible. It’s just TOO MUCH.

And it is- for us.

But not for our God. It’s never too much for Him. Because of His strength and His Spirit, the impossible becomes possible. The insurmountable, conquered. The next step, taken.

Little by little, the giant subdued. 

When we bring our “I can’t” to Jesus, He wraps it in His capable hands and throws it under His feet. He speaks to our hearts what He said to Paul: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (1 Corinthians 12:9)

We join Paul in boasting about our weakness because we KNOW WE CANNOT. He keeps us and somehow, tomorrows keep coming. Healing flows down as we continue to allow ourselves to feel the pain, breathe it in, breathe it out and inhale the love of a perfectly wise Heavenly Father who is constantly working out His will.

Understanding, no. Peace, yes. Eternally. We are Supernaturally guarded in this way.

He is God. He knows how. He says, “Daughter, I can. Do you believe this?”

And our leaves do not wither and our light shines like the noonday sun and rivers of living water flow and joy rolls over sorrow and victory dances. She looks over her shoulder, extending her hand, asking today, 

“Do you want to come and dance with me?”

Freedom runs wild when we exchange our “I can’t” with “we can,” because when we are in Christ, we are not alone. Me has become we. 

“We can do this now.”

He whispers, “Follow me up here.”

“I am in charge of the elements.”

“I slayed the giants.”

“Come close, this close always, and we’ll slay giants together and bring the whole family with us.

Not one will be lost. 

I’ve got this, not you. Because I have won and it is finished. Do you believe this? Come with me.”

When “I can’t” is every day…

Nothing is too hard for God. He lives in me. We can.

#littlebylittle  #whenhopeisreal #neverwithouthope #possible #thisclosealways

Cheering You On Always,

Daddy Issues Part 3

“But to all who did receive him, to those believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God-children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” John 1:12

When we returned from our long trip to visit family, our toddler squealed and smiled as we crossed the threshold of our home. Surprised, I looked at my husband and said, “He recognizes we’re home!” I was amazed by his familiarity with his surroundings at such a young age. 

As our family has grown, I’ve watched my husband faithfully father our children. The way he looks into our daughter’s eyes. The times he holds her hand as she navigates the stairs. The smiles he gives when she leans in to give him a goodbye kiss and runs to him with her arms wide open when he returns from work. I was 14 months old when my parents divorced. 

I wonder if I missed the deep sound of his voice or the strong embrace of his arms.

I wonder if I missed the playful tosses into the air or the loving gazes I see my husband give my little girls.

I certainly relished in the love of my mother and won’t discount all the ways she built me.  Still, I wonder if I recognized, even then, how my dad’s absence changed my environment and how that affected me. As I watch my toddlers interact with family and their environment, I’m sure I recognized change. Life without dad would become the new normal; the only normal I have ever known. 

Two years ago I had the pleasure of doing Beth Moore’s study, “The Quest.” I totally recommend it! In one of the beginning chapters she asks questions that are found in scripture to help the reader orient themselves in life’s journey. These  questions are a powerful tool in acknowledging and examining where we are in order to continue on the “quest” with our Heavenly Father. 

The first question is taken from God in the garden with Adam and Eve. After they sinned by disobeying God, He asked them, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:9) This is a great question to ask ourselves to stop and evaluate where we truly are in life. However, it was Beth’s second question that struck me the most. Adam responds to God’s first questions with a confession. “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” God responds, “Who told you that you were naked?”  This is the basis for the second orienting question: “Who told you that?”  My eyes froze on the question as the simplicity struck me. What we’re told is only as good as the source is honest and trustworthy who spoke it. It was the enemy, and what he told them was a lie. 

What I have discovered is that, like Adam and Eve, I have also been lied to by the enemy. The absence of my father told me a few things about myself: I wasn’t valuable enough to stay around, I wasn’t worth the struggle or sacrifice, and I wasn’t good enough to win his love. Every negative experience I have had with people as I grew only confirmed these lies as I navigated life. 

I want to say something really important here: I’m not blaming my dad or others for my wounds. I’m saying that without somebody speaking my true identity as a daughter of God into me as I grew, my lens was warped. The evidence supporting the lies was all around me. I interpreted my value through the actions and words of other human beings. How I was received or rejected told me more about myself than anything else.  I measured my value by my experience with human beings. This is never solid ground to stand on. 

Who, by their words or actions, told you that you were not valuable? Who told you that you weren’t worth it? That you would never be good enough? Who told you that? As I examined the broken areas of my heart, I found there were many lies I believed. They became my identity. I needed to work for approval. I needed to be good at something to be valuable. I needed to be perfect to be loved… Until God showed me otherwise. 

He brings the healing we need from the wounds we receive. We desperately need to fill our hearts with the truth of who God says we are in His word. We are His beloved daughters. If we don’t establish our identities in who He says we are, we find something or someone to tell us who we are. We become imprisoned in their lies. 

In John 1:12, we see that if we have received and believed in Him we have been given the right to be His children. There is no other condition but belief. As children, we have a natural desire to want to please our earthly fathers and earn their affection. The affection of God, however, is freely given and  cannot be earned. 

In fact, no past failure could ever deter Him from pursuing you. His heart for you is unlike even the most wonderful love we receive from our faithful human father’s in this life. It is better. It is perfect. God’s love is freely given for us to receive and believe,even while He knew how we would sin. He knew we would love ourselves more than anything else. He knew how we would fail and fall, and that we would betray Him. That did not stop His journey to the cross. (Romans 5:8) If we  believe, where we’ve come from and what we’ve done has no say. We have the right to become children of God! In being called children, we inherit everything the scriptures teach as true about children of God. There is endless goodness found in our inheritance!

Our identities are founded on truth. Our value as humans is established by God and not by any circumstance. We were created in His image. (Genesis 1:27) We are carefully crafted in our mother’s wombs by His hand. (Psalm 139:13-14)

What I believed about my value because of the absence of my father was not true. Whether you have a present and engaged dad or not, these lies try to rob us of our true identity as daughters of God. What lies have you believed and WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

Friends, even our best, present and faithful fathers fall short of saving us from mistaken identity. 

The truth is… 

We are perfectly loved. (John 3:16)

We are saved. (Ephesians 2:8)

We are forgiven. (Colossians 1:13-14)

We are new creations. (2  Corinthians 5:17)

We are free. (John 8:36)

Who told you that? God Himself.

Cheering you on always,

Sited from above: Moore, Beth. The Quest. Nashville, Lifeway Press, 2017.

 

The Cross

In my darkest night. My 5 year old son’s life in the balance. Helicopter, wires, needles, tubes, confused doctors, nurses scrambling, monitors screaming, and absolutely nothing I could do to change the situation. I was completely broken, desperate and everything around me was out of place. Nothing was right. Day after day. Hour after hour… For months. My faith was shaking. My strength was gone. God’s love for me, for my family, for my son was on trial. I could not make sense of the darkness we found ourselves in.

There were moments I wanted to leave my faith behind. The faith that saved me didn’t feel like enough to get me through. The promise, “I’ll do anything for you God. I’ll go anywhere. My life for the gospel,” was painful to remember. How could a loving God lead us to this place? Lead our sweet boy to this place? I could not see a way to hold both this pain and my faith together. His lack of healing and believing in His goodness were at war in my mind. But He held these things in perfect balance. He kept me. Pulled me so very close. He would not let me go. On the longest days and nights; in the most painful moments of death-filled reports. The Holy Spirit kept whispering to me, “Look to the cross. Look to the cross. I love you. I love him. I am here.” Oh the grace in those whispers. 

As I remember the cross on this Good Friday, I am taken back to this disorienting space. He has used His cross to save me again and again. Unto salvation:Himself and through trial. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13 

In the cross is where I see God’s love poured out through His suffering and death that although I may experience it here, I will rise again from it. The wrath of the Father was satisfied by Jesus. His blood flowed so that one day our tears would not have to. He cried out to the Father to make a way for us to cry out in our darkest moments to the creator of the universe. In His death on the cross, he made Himself so very close. So very available. Without this act if sacrifice, reconciliation with God is impossible. but nothing shall be impossible with Him.

I will never get over it.

Imagining Him on the criss, the pain and agony He suffered, held me in that hospital room day after day. In my bed alone at night. In my car driving to and from Pittsburgh day after day after day. In the darkness of my own thoughts. When I saw the cross, all I could see was His love.

The cross teaches me that no matter what circumstances look like, He loves me and all of us more than we ever could imagine. Our difficult situations do not determine His great love. When He said it was finished and ”breathed His last” He said my son’s suffering is finished. My pain is finished. This grief is done. The work of sin, death and struggle in this world is beaten… eternally. His humble sacrifice changed everything. He is the eternal victor and us in Him.

Heavenly Father,

We praise you for finishing the work of conquering darkness, death and disease forever Lord. We thank you! Please help us walk through the messy middle until you come again. Help us through Saturday Lord. Carry us through the loss, fear, evil, pain as only you can. Keep us close when we want to run and hide. Keep us remembering what you did that day. You changed everything. Now we can see, we can breath, we can hope, we can live. In Jesus name, Amen.

Cheering You On Always,

“For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2

The Heart of the Wise

Ecclesiastes 7:2 “It is better to go to the house of mourning than to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart…The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.”

Confession: I was totally offended by this verse in Ecclesiastes in my mourning. “What?! How could it be better in this house of so much pain?” Everything in me said, “Run! Get out as fast as possible!” My sorrow didn’t feel better than the food and laughter I enjoyed at my last “feast”. These circumstances certainly weren’t better from an earthly point of view. I don’t think I need to do too much convincing here, but many times God’s eternal truths are not meant to be understood from an earthly point of view, are they? They are meant to be believed.

This concept is so foreign to us. I avoid the “house of mourning,” fiercely protecting loved ones from it. But God calls it better, and says the heart of the wise is there. It doesn’t feel better, so why is it better? How is it better? Such passages are true, but often difficult to apply. Yet, I have discovered treasure there. Maybe our pain can push us toward the perfection for which we were created. It certainly gives us a longing for heaven like no other. 

The house of mourning highlights the brevity of life, urging us to live each day more intentionally rather than on autopilot. We become painfully aware of the inevitable when in close proximity to the thin veil between life and death. It is but a moment. “This is the end of all mankind.” So “make the most of the time,” (Ephesians 5:15), trusting God’s will is best even when we don’t understand. Remember, eternity is far greater than any moment here. Being in God’s presence, unhindered by sin will be worth any amount of sorrow we face in this life. In imagining how it is reserved for us, we find hope.

“The heart of the wise” understands the humbling reality, we are not in control. God Almighty is in charge of everything, even the devastating circumstances (Isaiah 45:7). The house of mourning is often our shocking reminder that we can’t fix everything. Our illusions of control crumble. But remember, our loving Father is faithful to work good even in our darkest hours, (Romans 8:28-29). He has fixed it and He will establish His resolution in the end.

Our personal sorrow and familiarity with grief provides compassion for others. We all face circumstances where we did not choose the “house of mourning.” In fact, God is the only one who could change what we face, (Matthew 5:45). Yet, if we are to be conformed into His image, the house of mourning is the venue He uses in making us wounded healers…like Jesus (Romans 8:29; 2 Corinthians 1:3-7).

The God of all wisdom, perfectly good and loving, calls this house better. He says the heart of the wise is there. Each room is more valuable than any in the house of feasting. Hope is in the walls of our most devastating losses. Treasures untold are behind each door. Deep in the heart of sorrow, we find intimate communion with Jesus, the suffering servant. Remember, “He was a man of sorrows, familiar with grief,” (Isaiah 53:3). God unwraps the gifts of sorrow in every grieving heart, using the house of mourning to reveal His gospel of eternal hope. Each pain of loss, a reminder of the gift of love. He lived, died, and resurrected so we gain an eternal future with Him in love (Ephesians 1:3-9).

Lining our hearts up with truth when visiting this house is a difficult process. When I’m in the house of mourning, I whisper to my aching soul, “Jesus is here…the heart of the wise is here…it is better.” It’s not necessary to understand why or how it’s better to believe it.

Cheering you on always,

Girl, Put Down Your Phone

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be provided for you.” Matthew 6:33

“Girl, put down your phone,” darted across my mind as I was scrolling through social media. It caught me completely off guard. I have to admit the idea of the Holy Spirit calling me “girl” made me laugh. Regardless the nudge from God, was enough to cause me to pause. 

Have you ever reached the moment where you know you’ve spent too much time on your phone? I kind of get that, “Ugh” feeling in my stomach. What I recognize is this: the more time I spend scrolling through social media, the more I’m missing out on connecting with who is right in front of me.  When God commands us to seek Him first (Matthew 6:33), He is telling us to intentionally pursue His reign or Lordship over our hearts and minds. And, you guessed it, it becomes more and more difficult to do that spending endless amounts of time on social media. I catch myself distracted with my phone a lot. 

I have a feeling you can relate. It goes a little something like this…

“Let me see what’s up on social media today.” 

“Oh, that makes me angry. I can’t believe they posted that!” 

“I wish we could go there/do that.”

“Their life looks so perfect and easy.” 

Maybe even, “Why am I feeling so anxious?” 

Or, “Oh my gosh, it’s been half an hour!” 

It’s information overload, and we feel it. BIG TIME. 

I have to ask myself the question, “What am I honestly seeking when I pick up my phone to hop on social media anyway?” As I’ve examined my heart, I’ve found that at the most foundational level, I’m looking for a no-strings-attached “connection and satisfaction.” Oftentimes, I seek a “quick” escape from my own reality.

Friends, hear this: the majority of the connection and satisfaction we find on social media is a COUNTERFEIT. It is a complete fake in comparison to what God offers us in communion with Him and His people. It grieves our Father’s heart when we make the swap. It affects our real life relationships negatively. Let me clarify that I’m not saying social media connection is all bad. What I am saying is we have to be careful as we navigate our time with it because it can creep in and take away from the physical FaceTime we need with others.

We were created with an innate desire for deep connection. But in our sin, we often seek a surface level of connectivity because, simply put, it takes a whole lot less work and self-sacrifice to connect with a screen than it does an actual human being. We end up “connecting” with a whole host of things on social media that may not be best for us. It’s easy to access, addictive, and doesn’t require us to give of ourselves, which makes it a huge temptation. True connection requires much more of us.

Social media “connection” feels like it doesn’t cost us anything. But is that true? What does it actually cost us? What does it cost me when I check up on what’s happening on Facebook rather than play a game with my children or talk them through an issue they’re having with one another? What does it cost me when I respond to comments on posts rather than be involved in connection with my husband? What does it cost when it’s time to make dinner, but I’m knee deep in an article, so dinner is late, and my family is hungry and irritated (James 4:17)? Social media connection may feel free, but it is a COSTLY counterfeit that we need to be aware of before our real-life relationships are plunged into complete ruin. 

Our longing to connect is meant to be filled first by communion with Jesus (John 17:3, John 10:10), and secondly, authentic connection with His people (Hebrews 10:23-25).  Without the work of true human connection, we find ourselves deceived by counterfeits. The more we can put down our phones, and focus on the eternal, the more authentically connected and deeply satisfied we will be.

Remember, “Our citizenship is in Heaven,” (Phil. 3:20, Hebrews 13:14). Although we do engage in earthly citizenship, it should not consume us. We should be consumed with Christ, His agenda, and wherever that leads our earthly lives much more than we are ever consumed with what we’re scrolling through on our phones. Our God desires a deep, intimate connectedness with us. So much so that Jesus prays His desire for oneness amongst and with us in John 17.

The more we put down our phones, the more we can pick up our family and friends – our physical reality. The more we free up our hands, the more we can say yes to the connection with God we were created for. If you can relate, drop a comment and let’s talk about a plan for how we can tame our phone usage and social media consumption. I’d love to hear your ideas. Girl, we’re in this together! We have the power to put down those phones, seek first the God we were created to be satisfied by, and connect authentically with the people He has given us to love. 

Always Cheering you on!

The Purpose Planner

Hey Friends! Every once in a while I will feature a product that I value here on the website. This month, I’m excited to share with you The Purpose Planner by JHCreative.

I had the honor of meeting it’s creator, Jess, through Instagram. We had an immediate connection and Jess told me her story about desiring to provide a product that helped women like me live intentionally with every hour of our day… and Viola! The Purpose Planner.

This product is well made and durable. I love the week at a glance feature and the inspirational quotes at the top of each new page. Jess also provides explanation and direction for every part of the planner in the first few pages to help you get a fresh start with goals and planning. It has helped me plan well for the last quarter of 2020 and I’m looking forward to looking into all the possibility to be planned for 2021! I think you’ll love Jess and her product! You can find her @thepurposeplanners on IG!

The 2021 planner is available for pre-sale now! Click here to take a look and learn some more about it!

10 Ways to Wait Well

Happy May Day!! I can’t even believe it’s here. Normally, we would be knee deep in preparing for camp staff to arrive, but strangely, we’re all home taking care of other things. How’s your waiting game going? Whether we like it or not, friend, we’re in a holding pattern. It grades against our patience as a microwave society to wait on anything, and this wait is EXTREME. Days are blurring together and emotions are unpredictable with COVID keeping us waiting. I can hear John Mayer now, “I keep on waitin’- waitiiiin, waitin’ on the world to change.” 

So, we pretty much all agree it is safest to stay home as much as possible at this point unless we need to be out. Our schedules have slowed, or at least what we had going on outside of our homes. As a mother and wife, my reality is a bit different. My schedule is PACKED. There’s more eating, more cooking, more chores, more playing, more messes, more schooling, more arguing, more of so many things we are not used to dealing with on a day-to-day basis. Anyone else??? I almost had an anxiety attack typing that all out!

By the grace of God, I have found some ways to make the most of this time. Let’s not haphazardly let time pass us by, friends. Let’s resolve to wait well together. Waiting well doesn’t equal being productive or creating all the fun and entertainment we can, but it does mean finding a new normal, just for this unique season, and living it well. I KNOW we can do this together. Here is  a list of 10 ideas that can move you toward killing it while we wait! (Sing the phrase killing it while we wait to the tune of “whistle while you work” and you’re guaranteed to kill it sooner.;-))

  1. Stay active. Move your body! This has an endless list of benefits for your physical, mental and emotional health! Morning Meltdown 100 is totally working for me right now. Find something that will work for you and get busy, girl!! It can be yoga, stretching and breathing routines, home video (or YouTube) workouts, walks or jogs. Maybe you’ll even work your way from a walk to a jog. The possibilities are endless. Who would have thought you’d come out of a pandemic a runner?
  2. Rest Well. How do you get your best rest? For me, it’s an actual nap or a warm cup of coffee in a cozy chair with the Bible or a good book to read. What rejuvenates you? For my husband, it is shooting around or fishing. No matter how you relax, make time for a purposeful pause. Especially when you’re feeling like you’re about to explode. We talked about this in a school parent meeting today! I didn’t have the words purposeful pause, but I was definitely practicing it. When emotions begin to boil, leave the scene, if possible, and take some deep breaths. Give your emotions to God and come back and try again.
  3. Seek perspective. Our thoughts are powerful, and as John Maxwell says, what we focus on swells. Be especially attentive to your mental health. What types of thoughts have taken up residence in your mind? Pay attention and jot them down or say them out loud. If they are unhealthy or unproductive, you can choose to think about something else. Immersing myself in the truth of who God’s word is always a perspective changer for me. A good conversation with a friend or spouse can help too. You can acknowledge things are hard right now and also acknowledge they could be much, much worse. 
  4. Show kindness by speaking kindly to each other. It seems elementary, but you know how long a day can be with all the needs swirling around us at times. Write letters, texts, emails. Face time, zoom friends and family you’d like to send a virtual hug. Show acts of kindness to those in your household. I got the idea today of making mailboxes with the kids and setting them up to drop letters in to family members within our household. They can be about anything, and we all love getting mail! 
  5. Reach out. Even when you don’t feel like it. Sometimes, a quick text or call to a friend can get us out of our own heads when we’re dwelling on the negative.. Let your friends and family know you’re thinking about them, praying for them. Let them know you love them. Call a trusted friend when you’re feeling down and let them know you need their help. If you can safely and wisely volunteer your time or resources outside of your home, by all means, do it girlfriend!
  6. Get Creative. Try New Meals and recipes with your older kiddos (cooking with littles stresses me out!! Anyone else?). Try New Games. Try musical and creative arts activities. Play imaginative games with kids. I’m not the best at playing with kiddos (my hubs does this really well) but when I do, it’s always worth it. I’m a fan of reading books though and they really do love both.
  7. Ready. Set. RESET! It’s time. Schedule a couple of hours to reflect on the year. Debrief. Where did you think you would be at this point? Are you disappointed? Are you proud of yourself? With the restrictions that are in place, what needs to change? Maybe think of it like a new New Year Resolution and RESET. Take everything into consideration, because things have changed enormously, the virus, state restrictions, what is best for your family, what is best for you and begin to plan fresh?
  8. Find a healthy online community. Join a pre-existing Bible Study. Proverbs 31 Ministries has these! Get the house party app. Add friends and family and play games from afar. Create a group chat on zoom or Face time with uplifting friends or family members. Maybe even read a book together. Join established, online fitness communities or start one with your family or a couple of friends yourself. Did you know that WHIR has a Facebook group? I’d love to see you there too!
  9. Extend Grace. It’s tough spending every waking moment with the same people, even the ones you love the most. In our homes, let’s practice giving people forgiveness, even when they don’t deserve it. This is the grace God has shown us. Let’s pay it forward. On social media and amongst others, try to understand people’s views that are different from your own. You don’t have to agree to extend undeserved favor (grace). Also, you don’t have to stay in unhealthy spaces.
  10.  Draw Near to Jesus. There is a wonderful promise in James 4:8 that says, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” Don’t believe it, try it! He tells us to come to Him, friends. He desires this always, but in Matthew 11:28, He specifically invites us when we are “weary and heavy laden.” Don’t pass up this invitation. Write out your thoughts and prayers to Him. He already knows all of them, but He wants to hear from us. Open up the Bible and read. There are so many free, online tools you can learn from and I put money on the teaching of the Holy Spirit to lead and “guide you in all truth.” Our enemy would love nothing more than us keeping our Bibles shut. Don’t give him that pleasure. As Jesus says of Mary when she sat at His feet and listened, “There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it and will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:42 

Whew! Those are all (well most) of my thoughts and ideas. I hope some of that is an encouragement to you. Waiting well is all about taking the time to prioritize things that truly make us well. You’ve got this friend! 

When Hope is real… I can wait well.

What is working well for you or your family as you wait? Drop a comment! Let’s inspire each other!

Cheering you on always,

***I want to take time to extend a huge thank you to those people on the front lines and in essential work who are out “waiting” in an unspeakable way. You are in my prayers and you truly are the heroes of the time. This season will end dear friends.***

Wrestling With Why’s

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Matthew 27:46, Psalm 22:1

We’ve all asked, “Why?” The “why’s” begin at an early age, don’t they? You don’t have to spend too much time with a 4 or 5 year old to notice. Our brains long to make sense of things that are unknown. We like strategies, answers and control. If we can know the why, we can walk it back and find a solution, right? Usually.

I have asked God why, especially in hardship; when things are not “right” as we define it. This is mainly because I know He is in control. If He is in control, all wise and working His will, then He can give me an answer. “Why would you do this? Why me? Why us? Why him/her, whyyyyyyyy?!?!” The question in itself is not wrong and I believe God gave us the innate desire to explore, examine and figure things out. (Proverbs 25:2) “Why” has driven so much research and science and when we get answers, we celebrate it. It truly is a wonderful thing.

Then there are those times we all loathe, when we don’t find answers. We cry out from the depths of our souls, “why!” The lack of answers feels like failure, but wisdom asserts what is true. When we do not get the answer to our why we are driven to the foundation of our Christian faith. Faith requires belief without seeing, trust without touching, and a step forward without knowing the outcome. Sometimes when we don’t get answers, it’s a good thing.

I’m embarrassed to admit I often need the reminder that God knows better than me, especially when I don’t understand what’s going on around me or inside of me. Not only does He know better, but His view is extensive. His infinite knowledge is perfectly right and His vision is without barrier. God sees the whole picture.

Do you know who else saw the whole picture? Jesus. He knew why He hung on the cross yet in pain He cried out, “Why have you forsaken me?” He was fulfilling the prophecy of Psalm 22 as He suffered. He quoted it as He lived it. God did not answer Him. Think about that for a moment. He did not answer Jesus, the Messiah. Why not? An answer was not necessary. We see Jesus in the garden praying that God might let this cup pass from him. (Matthew 26:39) No answer. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Hebrews 4:15 

Girlfriend, we are in good company asking “why” without a response from God. But let me whisper a truth in your ear that I often need whispered in mine. We can trust God with the answers we may never get.

Jesus didn’t get an answer, but the answer was good.

We can trust His infinite knowledge and His perfect love to give us “peace that passes understanding.” (Philippians 6:4-9) I experience so much freedom in this. Freedom that our Jesus suffered, died and rose for.

I have learned that if I don’t have answers, I can still have peace. If I don’t have understanding I can still have trust and if I don’t have certainty, I can still have faith.(Proverbs 3:5-6, Isaiah 26:3, Phil. 6:4-7, Hebrews 11:1) You are braver than you know.

When hope is real…

“God sees the whole picture. I can trust Him with my why.”

Cheering you on always,

The Hour Had Come

“So He got up from supper, laid aside His robe, took a towel, and tied it around Himself.” John 13:4

I read these words today as I opened up to the gospel of John to reflect on the events leading up to Jesus’ death and resurrection. I didn’t recognize it at the time, but only John includes the footwashing of the disciples’. Today, “laid aside His robe,” stopped me in my tracks. The beating, torture, and crucifixion were drawing near. I’m fascinated how He spent His time leading up to them; what His actions show us about His priorities.

He spent His time serving the very people who would be hiding in fear shortly following the footwashing. He spent His last days reassuring them of what was to come so that they would believe. (Verse 19)He shared truth with the ones He loved and even into those who would believe in the future. (John 17)

In the midst of the crisis we face with the coronavirus pandemic, I have experienced a myriad of conflicting emotions and thoughts. I’ve been so happy that my family is getting more quality time together, baking, playing games and doing what we enjoy. Yet I’ve been heartbroken that they don’t get to enjoy their normal, day to day activities with their friends, teachers and coaches. The uncertainty, changing of plans and suffering all around has been overwhelming. Just yesterday, we thought there may be a chance they’d get to go back to school and our “normal” could return sooner than later. Today, we are settling into the reality that that’s not the case. 

Truthfully, it’s too much for any of us to handle well. Jesus was approaching His darkest hour. He faced that deep darkness for us. Yet, we find him here, setting his robe aside and serving those He loved by washing their feet, a service reserved for a slave. This is not uncharacteristic of Him. 

He laid aside heaven when He came down for us. (Philippians 2:7)

He laid aside His glory. (Philippians 2:6-8, Isaiah 53:1-10)

He laid aside His rights. (Philippians 2:7-8)

He laid aside His life. (Romans 5:8)

He laid aside His robe and took up a towel, wrapping it around Himself… to wash His disciples feet.(John 13:4-5)

He changed His clothes.

What might we lay aside in order to humbly serve in our current crisis? They may be the robes of titles we carry such as teacher, full-time working mom, stay-at-home mom, Bible study leader, church worship leader, coach, speaker, administrator, etc. If not the entire title, at least the way we traditionally play these roles has perhaps seen it’s darkest hour. Can we humbly lay it aside like the robe of Jesus was that evening? What robe is God asking you to lay aside to serve those closest to you? 

Jesus tells us to do so and leads by example. He is worthy of this sacrifice and will meet His children in the midst. I know I’m not alone when I say I have had to change clothes a lot in these past few weeks. Taking all of these adjustments one day at a time and seeking to lay aside my norm has been challenging. I pray you’re finding true strength day by day to do the same.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

Cheering you on Always,

1,013 Days

My son’s condition, a severe form of epilepsy, began 1,013 days ago. 1,013 days. It’s hard to believe. Navigating the world of a special needs child and caring for him still feels so new and unfamiliar. As you can imagine, it brings a mix of emotions.

It has been 1,013 days of living a life I would never in a million years choose, nor one that I would wish on my worst enemy. For 1,013 days, I have lived out one of my deepest fears, watching my child suffer and struggle. Many of those days wondering if he would be with us in the next. Many days begging God for answers, healing and ANYTHING that might take this away or make it better. The reality is, Judah’s circumstances haven’t changed much. 

I wish I could share all that God has done in and around me in these 1,013 days. How HE has been enough. How HE has provided everything we need. How HE has brought many souls into the kingdom for ETERNITY. How HE has matured us and deepened our trust in HIS GOOD PLANS. How HE has used adversity to bring His good and perfect will to pass. But I can’t explain it all here. It is supernatural work that our Father is always doing and many times it just does not fit our practical minds. He has promised to make us mature and complete, lacking nothing THROUGH TRIAL. (James 1:2-4) I know He will do the same in this pandemic.

All of the fear and anxiety I’m experiencing, seeing and hearing about reminds me of the 103 days we were “quarantined” in a hospital room on the 5th floor of CHP. Physically, we could leave, but our hearts and minds couldn’t. They were stuck in that room, laying on a bed, fighting for their lives. Much like you may feel stuck where you are today. My faith has never been so severely attacked. In my fear and confusion, the enemy shot deadly arrows, aiming for my soul, which was shielded by Christ. Don’t be surprised if you experience the same in this trial. Be prepared. Ephesians 6:10-20)

Every single day, we had to see what we didn’t want to see, hear what we didn’t want to hear and go where we never wanted to go. And every single day, God went ahead of us, giving us new eyes to see and new ears to hear. He whispered to us to shift our gaze upward. He transformed us to fix our eyes and what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:17-18) He caused us to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. (Hebrews 12:2) He carried us along paths we never desired because we could not walk them on our own. He shaped us, matured us, and we are much better for it. 

I have to believe the same for my sweet boy. I can say to him, “Judah, God has a good plan for you.” I actually believe it with all my heart. Not because everything is okay or because I am okay, because it isn’t and I’m not. I can say those words and believe them because I am sustained and strengthened, minute by minute. He can do the same for you. Somehow, God has brought me here to this 1,013th day. I am reminded that God’s good plan and our good plans are vastly different. I have to surrender to His version of good. I have to trust His perfect wisdom in this. It makes no sense to me, but He tells me in His word that His thoughts are not my thoughts, they are higher. (Isaiah 55:8-9) His ways are not my ways, they are higher.  I know the one it makes sense to and I trust Him. Not surprisingly, the coronavirus pandemic has triggered all the uncertainty of the beginning of our journey with Judah, but God has led us to faith, even in all the uncertainty. Hope that cannot be moved or touched. The scriptures call it an anchor for the soul. (Hebrews 6:19) That is what we have been called to if we are in Christ. We walk by faith and not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7) We walk believing and not seeing. This is faith. (Hebrews 11:1)

1,013 days in, I can tell you this; I trust God and He is trustworthy, friend. You can trust Him, too. Believe it. He truly is enough to walk you through any circumstance. I won’t lie to  you and say it will all be okay because it’s not ok that my baby boy is not ok. God promises you in this world you will have trouble, but take heart for He has overcome the world. (John 16:33)

He promises us that He who is in is greater than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4

He will give you abiding joy and gladness. Acts 2:28

He will never leave nor forsake us. Hebrews 13:5

He is working all of this out for good. Romans 8:28

There is nothing He won’t carry us through. There is nothing He has not placed under His feet. (Ephesians 1:22-23) He has conquered all and in Him, so have you. He will cause you to stand because that is who He is. You are His.

So for today, will you believe that with me? Can you say to Him today, “I trust you” and mean it from the center of your being? When you see the scary thing and get the bad news, will you trust Him? Will you do that with me? Run with me?  Walk with me? Crawl with me? Trust with me? He will never let you go. Day 1 or day 1,013, His promises will not change. They are ours to live in, freely and victoriously. As children of God, we are invited to fully trust in our Father’s loving care. There is no darkness in Him. This life we didn’t choose, He chose to allow it. So, choose today to believe He has given it great purpose. In 1,013 days from now, my prayer is that we’ll look back and be amazed, as I am today, at how He has carried us, provided for us, hidden us in the shadow of His wing, spoken to us and given us all that we need. This is my hope for us friends! If you agree, commit with me in the comments. We will trust the Lord together, day by day!

Cheering you on always,

***If you’d like a FREE 3×5 printable of Isaiah 43:1 CLICK HERE. Carry truth with you!***