Ecclesiastes 7:2 “It is better to go to the house of mourning than to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart…The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.”

Confession: I was totally offended by this verse in Ecclesiastes in my mourning. “What?! How could it be better in this house of so much pain?” Everything in me said, “Run! Get out as fast as possible!” My sorrow didn’t feel better than the food and laughter I enjoyed at my last “feast”. These circumstances certainly weren’t better from an earthly point of view. I don’t think I need to do too much convincing here, but many times God’s eternal truths are not meant to be understood from an earthly point of view, are they? They are meant to be believed.

This concept is so foreign to us. I avoid the “house of mourning,” fiercely protecting loved ones from it. But God calls it better, and says the heart of the wise is there. It doesn’t feel better, so why is it better? How is it better? Such passages are true, but often difficult to apply. Yet, I have discovered treasure there. Maybe our pain can push us toward the perfection for which we were created. It certainly gives us a longing for heaven like no other. 

The house of mourning highlights the brevity of life, urging us to live each day more intentionally rather than on autopilot. We become painfully aware of the inevitable when in close proximity to the thin veil between life and death. It is but a moment. “This is the end of all mankind.” So “make the most of the time,” (Ephesians 5:15), trusting God’s will is best even when we don’t understand. Remember, eternity is far greater than any moment here. Being in God’s presence, unhindered by sin will be worth any amount of sorrow we face in this life. In imagining how it is reserved for us, we find hope.

“The heart of the wise” understands the humbling reality, we are not in control. God Almighty is in charge of everything, even the devastating circumstances (Isaiah 45:7). The house of mourning is often our shocking reminder that we can’t fix everything. Our illusions of control crumble. But remember, our loving Father is faithful to work good even in our darkest hours, (Romans 8:28-29). He has fixed it and He will establish His resolution in the end.

Our personal sorrow and familiarity with grief provides compassion for others. We all face circumstances where we did not choose the “house of mourning.” In fact, God is the only one who could change what we face, (Matthew 5:45). Yet, if we are to be conformed into His image, the house of mourning is the venue He uses in making us wounded healers…like Jesus (Romans 8:29; 2 Corinthians 1:3-7).

The God of all wisdom, perfectly good and loving, calls this house better. He says the heart of the wise is there. Each room is more valuable than any in the house of feasting. Hope is in the walls of our most devastating losses. Treasures untold are behind each door. Deep in the heart of sorrow, we find intimate communion with Jesus, the suffering servant. Remember, “He was a man of sorrows, familiar with grief,” (Isaiah 53:3). God unwraps the gifts of sorrow in every grieving heart, using the house of mourning to reveal His gospel of eternal hope. Each pain of loss, a reminder of the gift of love. He lived, died, and resurrected so we gain an eternal future with Him in love (Ephesians 1:3-9).

Lining our hearts up with truth when visiting this house is a difficult process. When I’m in the house of mourning, I whisper to my aching soul, “Jesus is here…the heart of the wise is here…it is better.” It’s not necessary to understand why or how it’s better to believe it.

Cheering you on always,